my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
