omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
