Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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