I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
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Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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