You smell like stripper and shame
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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