God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
