Only a mothe r could love this liver
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
