The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
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Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
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I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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