I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize
