Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
