Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
