You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
