Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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