She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
