Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
