i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Found the puke drawer
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
