How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
