I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize