Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
