a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
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He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
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I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I have aggressive nipples.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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