that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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