her vagine was all disorganized.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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