Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
