you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
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