I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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