real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
