Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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