I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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