I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
This toilet bowl is my home.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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