I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
