yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
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