one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
