Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
