I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
