well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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