Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
