This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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