so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
