when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize