Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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