I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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