i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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