I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
