I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
