Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
