Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
