i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
