Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize