I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
