and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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