So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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