I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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