Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
