we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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