Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
