You really coming over, don't trick.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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