I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
