please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
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