My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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