Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
